The Machines Are Going Rogue

My Kenmore Elite Washer Does What It Wants.

Technology Fails
Here is a photo of the machine in question, which I inherited from a rental property and took over because it was nicer than the washer I had. Holy crap, I hope the previous owners did not pay full price for this thing.

In yet another edition of “why won’t the machines do what I want rather than what they want,” I recently discovered that my Kenmore Elite Washer, which frankly has an absurdly large amount of digital shit on the front of it and looks so overly complicated you could probably also use its mother board to fly a rocket to the moon, has recently decided that it just does not PREFER the “normal” wash cycle, and will not complete it.   Moreover, it will not just not complete the cycle, but will enter in to a sort of “last 4 minutes purgatory” where it can say “4 minutes left” for 2 or more hours while it attempts to spin and drain the clothes, only deciding that it cannot finish this task and erroring out, after which I have to run a completely different “drain and spin” cycle.

Google wants to tell me that the problem is the “drain pump,” but this cannot be the case, because as I mentioned, the “spin and drain only” cycle works fine.  In fact, I started testing out all the different cycles one by one, and the one that the WASHER seems to prefer is the “WORKOUT WEAR” cycle.  To date I have never seen it go to “4 purgatory,” then error out, then have to have a cycle of “spin and drain only” run separately if set to “WORKOUT WEAR.”

This is one of those things where I am going to just pick my battles and let the machine do what it wants.

Is it annoying that I can’t just put it on “Normal Cycle” and wash clothes like a normal washer?

Yes.  Yes it certainly is.

Is it annoying that this “fancy” washer was supposed to be an upgrade from the super-old washer that came with my house (the one that was so loud during the spin cycle that it scared my dog and sounded like a small plane landing?)

Yes.  Yes it certainly is.

Could I pursue this further, search for the owners manual, play around with it to try to figure out the problem, and maybe even get a repair person involved?

Yes.  Yes I certainly could.

Am I going to bother to do that if I can just give in and use the “Workout Wear” setting to get my clothes clean to push this problem down the road a little longer to buy me some time, because I have enough God damned household problems to solve around here?

No.  No I am not.

I’m going to give this round to the machines.  Please don’t tell Alexa, because I fear if she knows I gave in to the whims of one machine, it will send the Robot Vac to hurt me in my sleep, then take over my house and order a bunch of protein powder, like it seems to want to do every other day.